My (furry) midlife crisis
My midlife crisis has finally arrived! In the form of yet another puppy (2 in less than a year!).
NEVER in my life had it crossed my mind to have TWO dogs at once. I know that’s not uncommon for a lot of people, but to me, it seemed outlandish, over the top, untamed. WHO was this woman I was becoming? But, as the idea grew, I realized that at age 48, nothing was stopping me (except common sense).
I decided it was my time to go a little unleashed.
Enter the search for Puppy No. 2.
Backstory: Maple is our first puppy - we got her just a year ago, after we lost our beloved Cookie unexpectedly at only 8 years old due to a heart tumor. (What better way to dry our tears than with fur-covered everything?)
Maple - Puppy No. 1 - our dark red golden retriever, took up her post in great style, and was quickly dubbed “Maple Tornado.” We all fell in love with our new wild child and started settling into a routine again. But, she just turned a year old, and I often felt like Maple was bored, restless. Even if she was a tornado, it still seemed like we could never wear her out. Not even with 4-5 mile long hikes or hikes every day.
Then.
We babysat a puppy for a week.
AND I FELL IN LOVE. Then the friend took her puppy away from me.
ALSO. Maple was a whole different dog with a puppy around. She was deliriously happy and playing nonstop. A far cry from the usual where she spent her days coming into my home office, curling up in a chair to stare at the back of my head, or - alternately - going outside just to stand on her back feet and tap on my window with her front paws like the Dogman.
My Dogman needed a buddy!
I tried to fight it, but the puppy duo idea was like a wildfire in my heart and pocketbook.
No one in the family thought a second puppy was a great idea just yet. But I marched on. Out of nowhere, I was filled with the power of deciding to bring something into my life for the pure joy of it. Yes, I had Maple and two cats (and a bird I don’t care to discuss), but something about a second puppy felt very mine.
I had come to a (mid)point in my life where the kids were grown (18 and 20 now!) - and I was ready to make decisions on my own, not just for the kids anymore. Maple could have a buddy, but even better, I could have a pack.
My family was soon on board. Perhaps they weren’t on board, as much as they were swept up in my joy ride.
“A PUPPY AGAIN!” I said 100 times a day. “And Maple will have a pal!” I put a lot of emphasis on Maple. I left out the part where I looked forward to my walks through the woods like an alpha female.
Finally, after lots of research, I asked the fam to go look at a litter with me. When we arrived, there were golden puffballs everywhere. They were adorable! They were fluffy! They were cuddly!
But - my heart screeched to a stop.
I was suddenly quite sensible.
“Thank you for your time, we will let you know,” I told the nice woman. And I hustled us out of there like the mean ol’ mom I suddenly was.
“MOM!” protested everyone.
“It didn’t feel right,” was my only explanation.
“But they were cute?!” protested everyone.
“This will be MY dog,” I reminded the boys. They couldn’t argue that, nor were they about to offer to scoop poop to prove their co-ownership.
My midlife crisis idled for another week. I needed to listen to my intuition, and I enjoyed settling into the awareness of it. Should I get a puppy? Would I know the right one when I saw it? What does “right” feel like? There was a calmness inside I couldn’t credit to anything except the fact that I was doing this despite all the reasons not to.
Then, I found a litter that reminded me of my beloved Cookie. I showed Maple the photo of the puppies on my phone.
“Do you like them?” I asked. She didn’t say much, afraid to get her hopes up again.
I turned to Nelson - “Want to blow off school?”
“With you?” he asked, sweating.
“TO GO LOOK AT A PUPPY,” I shouted, joy ripping forth.
“I am not going to spend the day with you unless we actually get a puppy,” he said. He was still burned badly from the first outing.
“Are you trying to blackmail me into getting a puppy?” I asked. (My heart swelled; I had raised him well.)
“Why else would I go?” he asked.
“Donuts?” I replied.
And the deal was made. We would go see puppies three hours away. We were there by noon the very next day, donuts in a box in the backseat.
“This one’s the cuddliest,” the mom said, as she handed me Green Girl out of the 3 fluff balls roaming around her kitchen trying to put a dent in a toy rope. The girl puppy had pale golden fur and black eyes and nose, and she folded into my arms like a stuffed toy. She gave me the tiniest kisses. I would have been in a Hallmark show if not for the tiny pile of poop I saw being placed by her sister on the tile a few feet away.
“Well?” I asked Nelson in a tiny whisper.
He squeezed her poof of a paw and leaned in and she gave him a kiss, too.
“I don’t know…” he said. “Will Maple like her?”
We laughed - because we both knew that Maple was no longer who I was getting a puppy for.
Ellie came home on Valentine’s Day, and my midlife crisis has been going well ever since.
Maple and Ellie get along and keep each other busy. Maple seems happy and tired by the end of the day and when she is “done” - she just exits the scene. This morning I watched her launch over a queen-size bed in a single leap to escape the puppy.
Our daily walks are shorter for now and involve a lot of sleuthing. Do you know how fast you can lose a cream puppy in the snow? I’ve taken to putting a hot pink MiGirl bandana on her to serve as a locator beacon and shouting lots.
The cats are not pleased, having just suffered through a puppy as recently as last summer. But Ellie could care less what they think. I found her sitting hunched on Happy, our old kitty, just yesterday. Ellie’s tail was wagging like crazy, and Happy just seemed to give in. After 16 years she’s seen it all, I guess.
My days are filled with (more) puppy fur and messes and chaos. I love it. There’s always something going on and usually nothing getting done. Tim and I are losing sleep again, and I am taking thousands of pics a day. The boys love her, the cats are coming to terms with her, and the bird has yet to meet her.
It’s the most awesome gift I have ever given myself: The time, space and freedom to do something for the pure joy of it. Two puppies in one year IS insane, but I have absolutely loved giving myself this moment in my life where I am doing something just fur the fun of it.
This is the best mid-life crisis I could have hoped for. ❤️
Luv luv luv!!!!!